heartbroken

So, I know I said I would only blog about positive things, but something is happening that is really upsetting me. My oldest friend feels like he is shutting off from me. I know that people grow apart, things change... but it feels like he is disappointed in me and won't tell me what he is feeling. This is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. I can speculate on why he might be feeling this way (if he is feeling this way at all), but I can't read minds... and I can't just let this be inside my head.

1. He might be disappointed in me because I'm not doing theater and at the moment I'm not actively looking to do theater.
a. I would love to do more theater at some point, but I just don't feel it right now. It's not something I feel I HAVE to do at this point in my life.
b. I worked sound for a show recently, and I enjoyed it...
c. I don't think that's a reason to give up on a friendship, so maybe (hopefully) that's not it...

2. We are working on different schedules and he has just moved into a city away from the comfort of friends and the stability of being acclimated to his surroundings.
a. Maybe it's because we don't have time to see each other and he's upset about that?
b. Maybe he feels like I'm not trying hard enough to make time.
c. Perhaps he is upset that he's come over here and things aren't happening at the rate he expected?

3. Has this been happening for a while w/o my knowing it?
a. Has this friendship been steadily growing apart?
b. He's been my favorite person for years, does this matter?
c. Is this beyond my control?

You can see, my mind is swimming. I'm feeling guilty and angry and frustrated all at the same time. I trusted this... Maybe this is a mistake. For me, friends come and go, relationships most definitely come and go, jobs and phases of life are always, and have always been completely unstable for me... but I never thought this would become unstable. I feel like I'm going to fall off my chair right now... and I look down... feet firmly planted on the ground... I'm not falling... why do I feel off balance?